Let’s Talk Men–Prostate Play Isn’t Gay!

I’ve had this catchy title in my head for awhile now and, since I haven’t been able to recruit my male peers to write on this topic… yet, I decided to take it on myself. Men, you can thank me later!

I get questions frequently from heterosexual couples  about our “share” toys shop.passionatesexcompany.com. People basically ask, “What do you do with it?”  I simply answer that you put one side in each of you. People usually say, “Ohhh”, who haven’t thought about or tried this type of play with their partner before. This question always leads me to the next topic: For someone who has never tried anal/prostate play before then perhaps you might consider it? It is a way of opening the door to new possible ways of experiencing pleasure together. With so many nerve endings, the anal region is one of the most erogenous zones of the body! With this being said, you might decide not to start with a share toy, but better yet, work up to it! (Think of it like this, for people who are out of shape, they might be uncomfortable jumping up and going on a 3 mile run! But with that being said, I know someone who won’t run for months and then jump into a marathon, so it really depends on the person!) For most people, I would recommend starting with exploring the area with touch, in a very thoughtful and conscious way where you ask your partner what feels good for him in the anal region. Then, you could try a simple vibe/plug like the ass-vibe to get a feel for playing with the area with vibration and/or during vaginal intercourse. Later, if the male partner finds that he enjoys this stimulation and wants to try some prostate play, then you may decide to explore further by penetrating the area with a finger or a product like  Aneros Peridise Complete Set – 4 piece which gives you 4 devices of various diameters to try at your comfort level.  When you’re ready, you could try a strap-on or a share toy which come in 3 sizes. (FYI, The neologism “pegging” refers to a woman penetrating a man with a strap-on.)

Many men might think, “If I try it, and I like it, then does that mean I’m gay?”  Many men who are sexually attracted to women enjoy anal stimulation/prostate play. Men who explore this area of their bodies are curious about what their bodies are capable of and find that this type of sexual play can be incredibly erotic! In a safe, trusting relationship (with lube of course), it can be a very pleasurable and fun experience for both partners. This is another way for couples to explore their sexuality together and a certified way of mix things up!

The Best Sex Writing 2013

The Best Sex Writing 2013

The Best Sex Writing series has has fundamentally changed the way people think—and what they say—about sexuality. Once again, Rachel Kramer Bussel has collected the year’s most challenging and provocative nonfiction articles on this endlessly evocative subject. The essays here comprise a detailed, direct survey of the contemporary American sexual landscape. Major commentators examine the many roles sex plays in our lives in these literate and lively essays. Judged by the Dr. Carol Queen, who is without peer, this stunning collection of sexsmart essays is sure to stir the heart, the brain, as well as other major organs.

Shop.passionatesexcompany.com

Adventurous Couples Guide to Sex Toys (2nd Edition)

Adventurous Couples Guide to Sex Toys (2nd Edition)

With a practical sex-positive approach to pleasure, Violet Blue leads readers through the maze of toys for adults. She explains the many options now available, how to use lubricant to enhance your experiences, care and cleaning, where to find reputable shops—and how to send your sensuality quotient soaring with the right tools to bring you and your partner closer than ever. Nothing says “sexy” like giving a sex toy to your lover.

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Got 12 minutes a day?

Got 12 minutes a day?

Want to have sex every day, but you and your partner just don’t have the time?

Think again! If you can find 12 minutes in your day…you CAN have satisfying sex with your partner. Every. Single. Day. Have electrifying sex in new ways with 75 quick and dirty scenarios you can do in 12 minutes or less.

Recent studies suggest that both men and women can reach peak arousal in just 12 minutes—which means you can fit in a little sex-capade while the cupcakes are baking, or the kids are outside playing, or during half-time, or anytime you feel like it! The secret lies in knowing some well-positioned techniques and moves, which is exactly what you’ll find inside the pages of The 12-Minute Sex Solution.

shop.passionatesexcompnay.com

We-Vibe II and III—Let’s Talk Sex

We-Vibe 

Unique in design, the revolutionary We-Vibe II is the first ever toy that can be used while making love. The innovative design allows for both external and internal stimulation for women engaging in both solo and partner play.

The We-Vibe II is hands free, strap free and wireless. Created from medical grade silicone, the We-Vibe II is soft and conforms to the female shape, making it comfortable and easy to use. Discreet in size and weight, it is ideal for travel and waterproof! It is also rechargeable and boasts powerful dual motors and offers dual vibe stimulation in all the right places for both the man and the woman!

In addition to the original 2 speeds – low speed 3000rpm ultimate gentle purr. High speed – 5000rpm gives ideal climatic stimulation. There are also 7 pulse patterns to choose from! We-Vibe II is easy to use, discreet in shape and easy to wash. The power switch is concealed inside the soft nose of the We-Vibe and the toggle switch is an easy-to-use push button.

The We-Vibe III will come with a higher price tag but it’s remote-control operated and gives you all the benefits of the famous We-Vibe II but with 40% more power.

Setting up and using your We-Vibe III Vibrator is easy. When it’s ready, pop your vibrator out of the case and grab your remote. Turn on the We-Vibe III vibrator by tapping the raised nub at the tip of the vibrator. Keep tapping to switch between purring vibrations, buzzing patterns, and tingling escalation. Use water-based sex lube to get your vibrator all slick, then insert the larger end inside your vagina for G-Spot thrills. The vibrator’s other end will cup your clitoris. Use the handheld remote to change functions. The We-Vibe III’s dual motors put the power right up against your pleasure centers for amazing orgasms! It’s such a good fit, your partner can comfortably slide right in alongside.

Wear your We-Vibe II or III vibrator during sex, solo play, or under clothes for naughty discreet pleasure. And since this version is a truly waterproof vibrator, go where no We-Vibe has gone before – into the shower or bath!

If you’re looking to spice up your love life in a simple yet dramatic way, check out We-Vibe!

Now updated we-vibe-4 is here!

http://thepassionatecompany.com/products/we-vibe-4-purple

Carving Out Time for Passion

Making time for intimacy with your loved one might require a little bit of planning. This might sound totally un-romantic, but without some planning, there may be far too many obstacles to connect on a regular basis. Tackling these obstacles to rediscover the passion that brought you together:

Obstacle 1: Finding a window.  When you have children or aging parents living in the house with you, it might be very hard to find a time when you aren’t needed for caregiving. Obviously, nighttime is great if you can plan to go to bed together at the same time. But, many times this isn’t possible. Also, many of us are drained at night after a busy day when our energy is at its lowest. If night-time isn’t ideal, the trick is to look for other opportunities.

  • Try: Sexing it up on odd hours. Does your partner ever work from home? Are there opportunities to plan time together during the day? What about on Saturday or Sunday? Or, early in the morning? (This can be an excellent way to wake up and a great way to start the day from a fitness perspective too!) When you begin to see anytime as a possible time to connect with your partner, windows will open up.

Obstacle 2: Achieving privacy. Though most adults respect a closed door, kids ‘forget’ to knock. Young kids learn knocking by repetitious reminding but it’s far too often that one walks in “Oops, sorry!”

  • Try: Getting a lock and using it! It really avoids unwanted situations.

Obstacle 3: Struggling with stress. We’re far too stressed out as a society as most of us lead very busy/full lives with multiple demands. Work, schedules, money, appointments, commitments, etc., there are so many things to handle in a day!

  • Try: Finding ways individually to manage stress so you can be your best self each day. Learn to meditate even if only for 5 minutes per day. Learn tai chi, yoga or just taking some time to yourself to be grounded. Eat healthfully and take care of your body by limiting harmful toxins. Try lighting scented candles to help set the mood or use warm massage oil to relax tired joints and muscles. Take the time to relax with your partner and let go of life stressors for passionate lovemaking.

Obstacle 4: Constant bickering. Sometimes it’s a vicious circle–the more you fight, the less you feel like having sex. Yet, the more you have sex, the less you fight!

  • Try: Letting the little things go. Try not to argue over things that really don’t matter. As described in Dana Adam Shapiro’s book  “You can be right (or you can be MARRIED)” Looking for love in the age of divorce, look for what your partner does right and tell him/her. Learn to listen better.

Obstacle 5: Same boring old place.
Try: Setting up an intimate, private space in your home (other than your bed/sleeping area). By changing where you are intimate, you might discover that the environment itself leads to heightened level of passion! Get away for a night. Being in a hotel room can be such a turn on. Throw a  new couples toy with some flavored organic lubrication in your suitcase and you might have trouble leaving the room!

Obstacle 6: Same old missionary style. Don’t fall into this trap! There are so many positions to try.

Prioritizing sex will have the benefit of wellness, fitness and connectedness to your partner… it’s worth carving out the time!

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